28 Comments
Mar 29Liked by Amit Varma

Read Being Mortal recently. It's beautiful book. I am big fan of your podcast, everything is everything and your occasional newsletter. Keep it up.

Memories of past keep us alive today. At this age (I am in my late 60s) memories are precious especially our childhood memories. Now is miss digging out more from my parents about their childhood. Lesson for future generations...keep asking till it's too late

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author

Thank you -- and I hope you record your own memories!

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I have my father's notebooks, recording every book he had read in his post-working years. Maybe inspired by that, or becoming aware of my own deteriorating memory, I too have been keeping a record these last few years.

My father also had a notebook full of poems/snippets of poems that he had copied.....

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author

What a treasure it must be to own those! :)

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Mar 29Liked by Amit Varma

I have been keeping private journals since childhood. It did help me sort myself frequently. However, in later turbulent years after college, I rendered journalling ineffective by writing too much. I would try to encourage myself by writing motivational quotes from others and ask myself to get done with things, to push limits, to be disciplined again and again, day after day. It seems a burden to go through journals of those years or even hope that somewhere in the heap of straws, I would ever find a worthy memory or something useful.

I love your writing and learn a lot about how to actually sort my thoughts, document experiences and navigate life in words which would help make sense of any experience, however banal. Thank you so much for writing so well

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author

Thank you. I think even if one does not revisit one's journals, it is nevertheless good to have written. One can never quantify that, of course.

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Mar 31Liked by Amit Varma

What a beautiful meditation on the mysteries of memory and its profound yet often unexamined influence on our identities and emotional lives. I was especially moved by the reflections on your parents and the bittersweet process of piecing together their stories after their passing. It's a reminder of how much of our loved ones' inner lives remain opaque to us, and how precious those glimpses we do get are. The point about writing as a tool for deepening self-understanding also landed with me. I've always journaled sporadically but this has inspired me to make it a more intentional practice. Thank you for the vulnerable and insightful writing as always.

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author

Thank you -- and I'm glad this may have prompted you to start journalling again. Keep at it!

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Amit - I'd recommend you read the book "The man who mistook his wife for a hat" for an indepth view on how people loose their sense of self when they suffer memory issues. The extent to which our memories determine who we are today, is an underestimated topic. This book will give a perspective unlike others.

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Thanks, I read it many years ago -- and as befits the theme of this piece, have forgotten it completely. :)

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Mar 29Liked by Amit Varma

Sometimes it is better not to write because the pain is just too much to recollect on a google doc. It is better to let the events fade and then leave some strain of a moment or two that can help with the hurt and pain. Like someone I admire said in a newsletter post today said —> These stories don’t have to be true; they just have to be useful.

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author

Stop admiring people!

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First you said - Stop Stalking people - I agreed

Then you said - ‘You are not listening. STOP STALKING’ - So I agreed again.

Now you are saying - ‘Stop admiring people’.

(Takes out white handkerchief and waves it) - ey na cholbey.

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Loved this

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Mar 31Liked by Amit Varma

I love Van Morrison and am fascinated by memory! Have you read “in search of memory” by Eric Kandel?

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author

Haven't read it, will look it up, thanks.

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Mar 31Liked by Amit Varma

You have once again inspired me to write my journal again, which I had started after your Blue Book episode with Amitava Kumar. But despite being very good and motivated in the beginning I drop out if I take a break which has been happening now and then due to other priorities. This has unfortunately happened three times to me and each time I end up by being paralyzed by my inaction and abandoning my writing. But as you said in another post stop thinking and just do, or write to write, I will begin again for the 4th time. Please keep inspiring me again and again. It works.

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Thank you. Good luck this time, and even if you miss a day or two somewhere, just get back on the wagon. Once it is a regular habit, you won't let yourself stop. :)

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Thank you for writing this. I journal my private thoughts a couple of times a week but your question " In one, you journal every day for five years. In the other, you do no writing for five years." makes me realise I can do more and I have a lot to say/reflect on. Love your line of thinking.

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Thanks -- and yes, please write more!

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beautiful ✨

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Thank you!

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Mar 29Liked by Amit Varma

This evoked a lot of emotions in me. An excellent piece.

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Thanks!

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This blog post gave me a fair bit to think about. I have added The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis to my to-read list.

I have long believed that "we are what we consume," we are moulded by the books we read, movies we watch, the places we visit, and the music and conversations we listen to. But I guess, "what we remember" is a function of "what we consume," so both statements are kind of true in a sense.

A related book that might interest people who liked this blog post is "You Are What You Watch: How Movies and TV Affect Everything" by Walter Hickey - https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-What-Watch-Everything/dp/1523515899. This book and its author was also featured in an episode of 99% Invisible, a podcast hosted by Roman Mars - https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/you-are-what-you-watch.

I think Roman Mars, a prolific podcaster himself, will make an excellent guest in one of the long-form deep-dive episodes that you do in The Seen And The Unseen podcast. A quirky similarity between the two of you - in the show Everything is Everything, you and Ajay refer to your audience as 'gentle reader', and Roman Mars refers to his audience on his show as 'beautiful nerds,' he doesn't do this a lot these days but he used use that phrase a lot in the past.

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Aah the mutability of memory.

What we recall and what we don’t.

Sometimes our memories lie in the recesses of our minds, dormant and still and almost forgotten until some word or place or smell or thing brings it back into existence. Sometimes they are lost forever.

Sometimes the vicissitudes of age and infirmity steal them away from us. For some this is a blessing am sure, for others a curse or even a loss.

The mutability of it all.

Your words made me re-examine this. Thank you.

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This is a great piece. As per usual. Could you check out blog too. I have only just started. I would love to know how I can do better.

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